Navi's, how to just say 'hey'
by monsterhunter100
Summary: As expressed in the story, this is a crack fanfiction. It contains little to no plot value, and I just shit it out for fun, and out of boredom. You continue on to read this story with the understanding that your sanity is forfeit, and the author is not a licensed professional.


This is a crack fanfiction.

UPDATES: Revised and edited some things because of my generally bad grammar when I originally wrote this. Made some changes, minor ones. I didn't do anything to change the format because.. Well who gives a shit, it'll be bad anyways. That and I'm lazy.

Anyone seen my keys?

"Blah" Normal speech.  
>*Blah* Actions.<br>_"Blah" _Thoughts.  
><strong>"Blah"<strong> Important or "Other" text that I felt needed to be set aside in black. Don't judge it because it's a shade darker than the rest.

* * *

><p>It was a jolly day, in the semi-prosperous land of Hyrule. If you of course focus solely on the center of the world map and ignore the desert. Like, entirely.<p>

The wind blew, the grass rustled on the great plains, the workers in Kakariko village ran along shirking their work.

All was peaceful..

Navi: "HEY!"

Link: _"How do I..? Oh, yeah."_ *Presses button*

Navi: "LISTEN! We need to be heading towards Lake Hylia."

Link: "Yeah.. I know.."

And so, the lad with the annoying fairy in his hat ran off towards the lake again.

A short time later..

Navi: "HEY!"

Link: *Presses button* _"What does she want now..?"_

Navi: "LISTEN! We need to be heading towards Lake Hylia."

Link: "I KNOW! I'm going as fast as I can! My short legs only go so far, so fast!"

Navi: "WATCH OUT!"

Link: "OH SNAP! A STALCHILD!" _"Damn these annoying cutscenes, always getting in the way of a fi-Oh god it's biting me!"_

After a grueling (And slightly amusing) battle, the lad with short legs and a fairy ran off in the direction of the lake.

Link: "Hey.. Is that..? It is! Finally."

Navi: "HEY!"

Link: *Ignores Navi and goes on through the river*

Navi: "…HEY!"

Link: "..." *Presses button* _"This is getting pretty annoying. You'd think I would be used to it now, having gone through two dungeons and shit already. Maybe the fumes from Dodongo's Cave are affecting her."_

Navi: "LISTEN! You'll need to go through this river place to find the entrance to Zora's Domain."

Link: "Thank you, Captain Obvious. Wait, Zora's Domain? I thought we were going to Lake Hylia.."

Navi: "…"

Link: "..? I think I finally shut her up."

Navi: **"****ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR"**

Link: O.o "What's going on!?"

Navi: *Starts buzzing around* **ERROR ERROR ERROR**

Link: "Aaahhh" D: *Presses A button and Navi goes back inside the hat*

Navi: "… HEYHEYHEYHEYEHEYHEY"

Link: "GAH! That is REALLY annoying, I'll just turn the volume down."

Navi: "HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY" *Can still be heard*

Link: "Damn it, shut the hell up!" *Swings sword frantically*

Zora Guardsman: "Heh, reminds me of my college days. Ah, those were the times. Oh, I see a blizzard on the horizon. In the middle of a never-ending summer. That's not suspicious."

Link: "GAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

Some time later, after some narrow evades (And some more cursing), Link made it to the end of the river, and saw a waterfall. Meanwhile, Navi had finally shut up.

Link: "..Well what do I do now?"

Navi: *Remains remarkably silent*

Link: "..Hello? Navi? Great.. Just like a woman to leave you alone when you actually want her to be there."

Navi: "…"

Link: "Hey.." *Picks up card seemingly left by Navi* "What's this?"

**Card Seemingly Left Behind By Navi: Thank you for purchasing this product. Should you encounter any issues, we encourage you to call our customer service. At 1-800 NINTENDO.**

Link: o.o *Calls number* "..Hello? Yes, I think there's a problem with Navi.. Oh? Err.. Ok.. Thank you. You too."

Navi: "HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY"

Link: "Fuck it. I'm done. I'm just gonna jump straight into this waterfall and be crushed by the pressure, ending it all now."

Navi: *Buzzes frantically and knocks Link into the waterfall*

Link: "W-WAIT I DIDN'T MEAN TO REALLY-Oh, I see. There's a passage behind the falls. I'll remember this."

Navi: "You're welcome."

Link: "Hey! When did you start working properly again?"

Navi: "Don't ask questions."

Link: "..Alright then."

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><p>I recently went and deleted all my shit, because it was so terrible. I left this story (Albeit heavily edited and fixed) because it was the only one I thought worth anything, despite its creativity issues. I mean really, write a "Story" where it's really just a long chat between friends that I added onto, edited and embellished. Very creative.<br>Anyways, this sucks, but I tried to make it suck a little less. Did I succeed? Lemme know in a review.  
>And if you encounter any issues while reading this story, you can call my esteemed helper hotline at <strong>1-800 EAT A DICK. <strong>My team is standing by RIGHT now to help people JUST like you. Call now!  
>No but seriously, remember to get your Ebola vaccinations before going to church this Sunday. That shit's important.<p> 


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